Inspired by Carvens Lissaint & Jasmine Mans
They say you’re not a poet
Until the day you start telling the truth
So after six years of writing
This is my first poem
Dear Ex-Lover,
I never truly loved you.
I just said I did so I could get with you.
Scratch That.
They say you’re not a poet until you start telling the truth
So after six years of writing
This is my first poem
Dear Ex-Lover,
I saw our relationship coming to an end, so when you said this long distance thing wasn’t working it didn’t hurt.
That’s not the truth either.
They say you’re not a poet until you start telling the truth
So after six years of writing
This
This right here
Is my first poem
I would start with Dear Ex-Lover
But we know how that’s going to end
So I’ll start this way
When I was 18 months old
My family gave me a Teddy Bear
I named him Teddy
It was the best name I could come up with
So don’t judge me
Full love of and stuffing
He was the personification of my Mother’s hugs
Connected with
The feeling of eating my Grandmother’s chocolate cake
For the first time
He was a cupcake of consistency
Flavored with my Aunt’s steadfast appearance as the rock of our family
With an icing that read
Throughout thick and thin
Teddy is going to be there
When I lost my father
He was there
When my uncle passed
He was there
When I thought I couldn’t do this anymore
He was there
So when my ex-girlfriend called to talk
And she went through every word that Webster had to offer
Without using the words “break” and “up”
We locked eyes
Stuffing falling out
Nose Missing
18 years older, 18 years wiser
He was still there
But he didn’t know what to say
There was nothing to say because there are days
When every sentence ends with a question mark
There are days when
I feel like nothing ever happened
There are days
When I still jokingly call her Mrs. Shepard
There are days
When I wonder why I was so sad she left in the first place
There are days
When I’m petty
There are days
When I just want to go on Instagram
Post a picture of me and a girl that looks way better than she does
Tag her in it
Just so that she can see how I’m doing
There are days
When all I can think about is her last birthday
We went to Tribecca to play mini golf
She lost horribly
But I told her she won
So She would feel better
I had only $20 to my name
So when asked me what we were doing for lunch
I realized Tribecca was not for poor people
American Flatbread
The only place we could afford
I offered the entire small chesse pizza
But she wouldn’t take no for an answer
We split it
Pouring the leftover bottled water
And ran out like two young ghetto kids in love
Because we were
There are days
When I’ll laugh while telling that story
There are days
When I’ll cry while telling that story
There are days
I’ll rise
There are days
I’ll fall
There are days
I’ll cry
There are days
I’ll choke on my own tears while performing this poem
There are days
I’ll bring a girl home
Tell her I care about her
Do it until the early morning
Screaming what’s my name
What’s my name
Just so that she can remind what I’ve become
There are days
When I don’t recognize myself
There are days like today when I’ll question
What’s the right person if it’s not the right time?
What’s the right time if it’s not the right person?
What’s the right person if you’re just going to be left?
Standing there by yourself
Wondering if there’s nowhere to go but up
But something
Somehow
You’re going down
Because you feel closer to hell than heaven
There are days
When I’ll call my brother to talk about sports
Just to forget about things
There are days
When I’ll call my Aunt Liz
So she let me know what my baby cousin’s smile feels like
There are days
When I’ll call my Mom
So she can remind that someone loves me
There are days
Four years after my Grandmother’s death
I’ll call her phone
Let it ring
In the hopes I’ll hear her voicemail
One last time
But no matter
What girl leaves
What girl comes
There will always be a day
For my Brother
For my Aunts
For my Cousins
Family
There will always be a day for that
