Inspired by Carvens Lissaint & Jasmine Mans

They say you’re not a poet

Until the day you start telling the truth

So after six years of writing

This is my first poem

Dear Ex-Lover,

I never truly loved you.

I just said I did so I could get with you.

Scratch That.

They say you’re not a poet until you start telling the truth

So after six years of writing

This is my first poem

Dear Ex-Lover,

I saw our relationship coming to an end, so when you said this long distance thing wasn’t working it didn’t hurt.

That’s not the truth either.

They say you’re not a poet until you start telling the truth

So after six years of writing

This

This right here

Is my first poem

I would start with Dear Ex-Lover

But we know how that’s going to end

So I’ll start this way

When I was 18 months old

My family gave me a Teddy Bear

I named him Teddy

It was the best name I could come up with

So don’t judge  me

Full love of and stuffing

He was the personification of my Mother’s hugs

Connected with

The feeling of eating my Grandmother’s chocolate cake

For the first time

He was a cupcake of consistency

Flavored with my Aunt’s steadfast appearance as the rock of our family

With an icing that read

Throughout thick and thin

Teddy is going to be there

When I lost my father

He was there

When my uncle passed

He was there

When I thought I couldn’t do this anymore

He was there

So when my ex-girlfriend called to talk

And she went through every word that Webster had to offer

Without using the words “break” and “up”

We locked eyes

Stuffing falling out

Nose Missing

18 years older, 18 years wiser

He was still there

But he didn’t know what to say

There was nothing to say because there are days

When every sentence ends with a question mark

There are days when

I feel like nothing ever happened

There are days

When I still jokingly call her Mrs. Shepard

There are days

When I wonder why I was so sad she left in the first place

There are days

When I’m petty

There are days

When I just want to go on Instagram

Post a picture of me and a girl that looks way better than she does

Tag her in it

Just so that she can see how I’m doing

There are days

When all I can think about is her last birthday

We went to Tribecca to play mini golf

She lost horribly

But I told her she won

So She would feel better

I had only $20 to my name

So when asked me what we were doing for lunch

I realized Tribecca was not for poor people

American Flatbread

The only place we could afford

I offered the entire small chesse pizza

But she wouldn’t take no for an answer

We split it

Pouring the leftover bottled water

And ran out like two young ghetto kids in love

Because we were

There are days

When I’ll laugh while telling that story

There are days

When I’ll cry while telling that story

There are days

I’ll rise

There are days

I’ll fall

There are days

I’ll cry

There are days

I’ll choke on my own tears while performing this poem

There are days

I’ll bring a girl home

Tell her I care about her

Do it until the early morning

Screaming what’s my name

What’s my name

Just so that she can remind what I’ve become

There are days

When I don’t recognize myself

There are days like today when I’ll question

What’s the right person if it’s not the right time?

What’s the right time if it’s not the right person?

What’s the right person if you’re just going to be left?

Standing there by yourself

Wondering if there’s nowhere to go but up

But something

Somehow

You’re going down

Because you feel closer to hell than heaven

There are days

When I’ll call my brother to talk about sports

Just to forget about things

There are days

When I’ll call my Aunt Liz

So she let me know what my baby cousin’s smile feels like

There are days

When I’ll call my Mom

So she can remind that someone loves me

There are days

Four years after my Grandmother’s death

I’ll call her phone

Let it ring

In the hopes I’ll hear her voicemail

One last time

But no matter

What girl leaves

What girl comes

There will always be a day

For my Brother

For my Aunts

For my Cousins

Family

There will always be a day for that

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